Monday, August 13, 2012

Big Brother Recap: Episode 14

A Lemon of an Episode

At the start of the episode we are greeted by the soothing sounds of Joe yelling his face off in a diary room interview, “An eight to one vote, what is wrong with this house. I HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY BLINDSIDED! NOW I’M ON AN ISLAND ALL BY MY LONESOME SELF! THANKS ALOT!” Joe you don’t need to scream all the time, really it’s not necessary.

Since backdooring Janelle was Mike Boogies plan, after she leaves the house Boogie and Frank have one of their most powerful celebrate/bro-down sessions in awhile. They jump around, theyjump around, they jump up, jump up and jump down (OH OH OH OH! Sorry I got caught up in the moment.)

After the HoH competition Joe stews in his anger of being the only person who voted to evict Frank last week and there for the easiest person to nominate for eviction this week. “There’s some despicable human filth inside this house.” It’s funny because Joe is obviously furious but this is the quietest diary room interview he has ever done. While he lays in his bed plotting revenge or just trying to look really angry Frank, the person he knows is coming after him, comes in and asks his for his culinary advice. Being the chef extraordinaire that he is he can’t but help give Frank the best way to cook those carnitas.

In the Have-Not room Britney cries to Danielle about how she feels so bad that she voted to evict Janelle. If Brit really didn’t want her to leave she should have pushed her alliance to make a different move, or at least given Janelle a pity vote. It’s not like anyone would know that it was Britney and not Wil or Ashley that was the second vote for Frank.

Before Frank gets his HoH room he and boogie have a talk in the arcade room. Boogie suggests putting up Wil and Joe and working Wil so that they have him in their back pocket after evicting Joe this week. Frank counters with the idea of nominating Joe and Dan. We are seeing a little emotion from Frank which is not a good thing. The last time Frank was playing with his heart more than his head he had a huge argument with Willie; he needs to take the target off of him not make it bigger. Frank really doesn’t trust Dan since he was going to back door him the week of the reset, I also have a feeling Frank still wants to get all the coaches out of the game. Boogie talks Frank out of it for now telling him they didn’t want to give more reason for people not to trust them.

We get to see Franks HoH room, he has a picture of his nana and of him with really blonde hair. Wil goes so far as to say he had “long flowing blond locks and a face that could rival that of Dennis Quaid.” Well now we know what Wil’s bar of attractiveness is set at, there’s Denis Quaid and everyone else is just Randy. Ian finds Franks NASA hat and completely loses his mind, “I thought Frank was really cool before, now he has a NASA hat. It doesn’t matter that he’s wearing the unitard. You put the NASA hat on, you’re like the coolest, best dressed person in the world.” That’s all it takes, eh Ian?

Joe, after being blindsided by Janelle’s eviction, sits down with Ashley and Wil to find out why they didn’t tell him their plans. They both play it off to Joe as if they didn’t know until last minute who they were voting for. Wil reveals in a diary room interview that he didn’t tell Joe because “he would have gone back to Janelle and told her” and “if Joe’s the only one to vote to evict Janelle that puts a huge target on his back.” (I’m pretty sure he meant vote to evict Frank, but who knows what Wil really means?)

Frank, Shane and Ian start talking about dreaming about the other houseguests. Frank brings up having a “pretty steamy dream about JoJo last night.” The conversation send Wil running because you know anytime men talk about women, the gay guys want nothing to do with that. (I don’t actually know that and I would think realistically most people gay or straight would sit around to hear gossip of that nature. I just don’t get Wil.) Frank says he was surprised that he was dreaming of JoJo but “JoJo did have a nice little body on her though.” Shane moves on to remembering Kara and making grunting sounds. Ian agrees and just begs out loud for Kara comes back. (The Three Creepeteers?)

We are then treated to the delusional love stylings of Danielle, Shane enthusiast. In a diary room interview she explains how he has kissed her twice in front of everyone but when they are alone he hasn’t made a move. (Maybe that should tell you something.) What she doesn’t know is that when talking to different people, Julie Chen and Britney to name a two, he has said he doesn’t want to lead her on and was way more into Kara then her. Danielle is obviously trying to get Shane to kiss her or at least show some kind of affection, so when they are outside on the couch she pushes it even further and we have this exchange.

Danielle: You’re so terrified. It’s cute how scared you are.
Shane: I’m scared of relationships, I am.
Danielle: Nobody said anything about a relationship.
Shane: I know. You’re scare to commit to though.
Danielle: That’s why I get aggravated every time you say it, because, I haven’t asked for it at all.
Shane: I know you just want some of the Shane-O-Mac, you ain’t getting it.
Danielle: (Laughs) You know what?
Shane: What?
Danielle: Boy! You think I would just so easily, just...
Shane: No I don’t. I know you’re... you wouldn’t do anything outside of a relationship.
Danielle: Yeah.
Shane: And neither would I.
Danielle: Clearly kissing doesn’t fall into that category.
Shane: Nope! Kissing in public does.
Danielle (in a diary room interview): A lot of guys play hard to get, I already know this and Shane I can see right through your act. And, hey mister! If you don’t shape up and get your stuff together, I’m a catch, and you’re definitely going to lose me.
Danielle (back in backyard with Shane): And you also, when we talk about this, you are afraid to look at me.
Shane: Not true. I looked at you last night.
Danielle: Whatever.
Shane: I just didn’t look into your pupils. I was looking at your boobies.
Danielle: That’s fine you can look at them too.

I really don’t know what else to say about that conversation other than WOW. It was awkward, weird and creepy all at the same time, Shane hit that trifecta all on his own Danielle’s crazy was just a bonus. If she ever finds out that Shane doesn’t have feelings for her the other house guests better hide the knives.

Frank, Boogie and Dan talk about nominating Joe and someone from their alliance as a pawn in order to get Joe out. Frank even suggests to Dan that he might go up and Dan doesn’t like that at all. Dan knows that his target in the house is so big that if he were on the block there would be nothing stopping everyone from voting him out. Dan knows what he is talking about.

Mike and Britney sit outside talking about Danielle, Mike is onto her lie about being a school teacher saying that he has heard her talk about medical stuff and she knows a lot more about it than the average person. Britney, who knows that Danielle is a nurse, doesn’t agree with Boogie per say but she does throw out the idea that no one usually calls Advil, naproxen  but she always refers to it as such. I still don’t know why she lied about it, it’s not like anyone would care.

We come to the first Have-Not competition of the season and when Frank brings out the bandanas to pick teams everyone goes crazy. Ian grabs all the bandanas and the other players rush him and slam him into the couch. Ashley cannot play because she is having back problems so Frank will play for her and she will be a Have or Have-Not depending on how Franks team does.

The teams are split as so: The Green team is Dan, Ian, Mike, Frank (Ashley), and Wil. The Yellow team is Danielle, Joe, Brit, Shane and Jenn “City”. Right off the bat you can see a disadvantage for one team, the Yellow team has all the females and the old guy who cooks for a living, while the Green teams weakest link is a somewhat in shape nerd.

The competition is pretty simple. The competitors jump into a pool of lemonade and use their sponge suit (in the shape of a lemon or lime) to soak up as much juice as possible. Then they run to their teams platform where the team “farmer” helps them squeeze out the juice in order to fill up a container designated to players on the other team. The first team to fill up four of the other player’s jugs win and the four players whose containers are filled will be the Have-Nots for the week.

Here are a few quick notes from the competition:

·         Boogie tells his team to fill their mouths and spit it out for more juice. (Ew)

·         This is one competition that leads to a lot of awkward moments.

·         “I’ve never had a lesbian on me period, much less bounce on me.” – Danielle

·         “I might be dressed up as a fruit but man this competition is hard.” – Shane (WHAT? How do those things have anything in common?)

·         Joe is having a lot of trouble in this competition.

·         “We’re freaking lemons, in yellow jumpsuits, life isn’t that bad.” - Danielle

·         Green team has a kink in the hose.

·         Yellow is catching up.

·         Green Wins! They celebrate with a dip in the lemonade pool.

·         Joe, Shane, Britney and Danielle are Have-Not

·         Have-Not punishment is cod and candy canes

As soon as the Have-Not competition is over Joe goes to see Frank so he can throw Wil under the bus. He tells Frank that Wil has lied to everyone in the house and that his teammates have flip flopped every week. Which is a good point but Joe is the only person who voted to evict Frank so it is not very likely his plea will work.

Mike and Frank then talk to Wil to see if they can work something out together but Wil refuses to give the security of being safe next week. Wil doesn’t really take the time to think about lying which would be his best move he just tells them that he can’t make that type of guarantee. Obviously that doesn’t sit well with Boogie and Frank. It actually makes them want to go after Wil this time and leave Joe in the house for another week.

When we get to the nomination ceremony it is pretty much a given who will be put up on the block. Frank does exactly what he’s discussed with Boogie and Dan and he nominates Joe and Wil. Joe because he was the only vote against him last week and Wil because “you told me a big ol’fib and then was gonna evict me.” Frank is a word smith if nothing else.

Joe ends the show with a great quote “This chef is not done cooking yet. Revenge is a dish best served cold.” I have a feeling before he came into the house he Googled a whole bunch of sayings and one liners that have to do with cooking because he has more than I could even imagine.

On Wednesday we find out if either Wil or Joe can save themselves from the block and if they do what will be Franks plan B. 

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