Monday, July 30, 2012

Big Brother 14 Recap: Episode 8

Are You Rolling with Shane?

Before I start, I just want to state how happy I am that JoJo is gone. Her “Love me or Hate me shirt” and the fact that she’s one of those people who scream shocker when something obvious happens, made me lean to the latter part of the statement on her shirt. It seems that every one of the them are happy she is gone as well.  Everyone except for Shane, he says that when JoJo left “I got a little teary eye.” Man up Shane.

Frank declares his week as head of household was “Fantastic.” Two players were eliminated, two teams are down to one player and Britney is now extremely close to losing her mind.

I swear Wil’s voices are getting weirder and weirder. This week in his diary room interviews he sound like a news reporter on the radio in the 1950’s. Wil very could well be the most annoying character in history, right up there with Marcellas on his first season and Lawon from last season. He even says stuff like this when talking about JoJo leaving, “I’m just bidding my time, waiting for the trash man to pick up trash from the dough.” (He might have said door, but it didn’t sound like it.)

After winning HoH Shane does a diary room interview where he says “Bye, Bye house guests”, I’m curious to know if he thinks he can eliminate everyone else in one week and win it all, or is he going to pull a Willie? I hope somehow Shane goes home this week.

Stop yelling Joe, I’m about to turn of the sound and put on subtitles every time he comes on the screen just to protect my ears.

Shane is creepy to me, especially when he says stuff like “JoJo’s gone so, full speed ahead with Danielle.”

Britney is on a whole rant about how she’s “tired of some peoples attitudes”, and she’s “tired of people’s general sassiness.” She quickly turns to Janelle and Boogies team saying “It’s time for Boogie’s players and Janelle’s players to feel what the block feels like.” Ashley, of all people, notices and says of Britney’s behaviour “Britney is kind of drunk with power right now, it’s kind of scary.”

This year’s HoH rooms don’t change; they all have the same simple design just with new personalized munchies and pictures.

Britney starts a conversation with one of the weirdest statements that has ever been uttered in the Big Brother house, “Dan it’s like our kids are dating.” Danielle sits there quietly with a real awkward look on her face. Then Brit goes into godfather mode trying to plan out the week, telling Shane that the best way to get someone you want out is to put one member of each team up for nomination. Dan and Britney both say that Frank is the biggest threat but because Shane has a side deal with him that no one knows about, he tells his coaches simply “I don’t think I can put up Frank this week.”

Joe decides his best way to stay in the house is to cook Shane a huge breakfast and continuously calling him the king of the house. The whole spectacle gets Boogie to notice “I’ve seen a lot of butt smooching, in my days in the Big Brother house. What I haven’t seen is a house guest cook breakfast for the new HoH. Joe has taken this to depths of patheticness I have never seen before. I don’t even know if that’s a word.” Shane even states that this sort of sucking up this early is ridiculous.

Boogie asks Ashley if she is a hippie to which Ashley answers “I would say a modern day hippie. But it’s weird cause I like rap music.” She goes on to tell Mike Boogie about dream boards, Mike is definitely into the idea of putting your wishes and dreams on a board and not actually doing any work.

Danielle talks with Shane about nominations, telling him that the way to make the biggest splash is to put up Wil and Frank. Why won’t the people just get it in their head that Shane has a man crush on Frank? Shane finally lets slip to Danielle that he made a deal with Frank. Then Shane and Danielle do some pinkies swear kiss their hand thing in order to secure their final two deal. Didn’t Shane say he wanted to work a final two deal with Frank last week? Danielle completely believes Shane is sincere, poor Danielle.  

The coach’s competition set is the Big Brother Gym. The backyard is filled with workout equipment and the contestants are dressed like workout video background dancers. The competition is a three rounder; the coaches compete to get as many reps as possible on a workout machine in the allotted amount of time. The coach with the least amount of reps each round is eliminated until there is only one coach left. When a coach is knocked out of the game they get to open a locker to receive either a reward or a punishment.

The first round is the Booty Scooty, where they have to move a seat back and forth by using their butt. It all looks like they are simulating some sort of sex act with Danielle even saying “this is one movement I never wanted to see Mike Boogie do. Gross!” Boogie easily takes first place in the first round leaving Britney as the loser. She opens her locker and has give to people the priviledge of eating slop all week. Ian volunteers again, stating some kind of strategy as the reason (Maybe he thinks if he gets skinny enough he can hide for the rest of the time and everyone will forget he’s in the house.), Brit also picks Joe to go on slop for the week.

The second round is called Hip-2-Hip Extreme; the coaches have to bounce their hips back and forth touching a sensor on each side. Janelle rocks the round and easily wins. Boogie is the loser and picks up cash to spread money amongst his team members, he chose to give Ian $3,000 and Jenn $1,000. Ian is so moved by Boogie’s decision he starts to cry. (I wonder if Ian realizes Boogie was going to give the $3,000 to Frank before Frank pointed at Ian and Jenn telling Boogie to pick them?)

The head to head round between Janelle and Dan is called the Tongue Trainer. The coaches have to use their tongues to hit a little bar, that counts their reps, back and forth. (Ew?) Janelle has definitely used her tongue before, she dominates the round by 50 reps, that means Dan is the loser. When he opens locker to get his reward he finds a ticket for a sushi party that he gets to have in the backyard with five other house guests of his choosing. The five people he picks are Janelle, Britney, Mike Boogie, Shane’s tanned ass, and his player Danielle.

As the Winner Janelle has to choose either to trade a player or trade a player. She chooses to give immunity to Wil for the week.

The have not meal for the week, voted in by America, is cereal and salmon causing the whole house to have fond memories of that time Willie went crazy in the house. Ian is pumped again this week saying that this and the pudding are some of the best have not foods in Big Brother history. I agree, where are the rutabagas and squid?

Boogie and Frank go to the HoH room to talk to Britney and Shane about the nominations this week. Britney is doing all the talking for Shane and he seems very uncomfortable knowing that he has a deal with Frank and Boogie that he never told Britney about.

At the nominations ceremony Shane puts up Joe and Ashley saying “only one coach has not had the opportunity to have any players up on the block. And I want to give that coach what it feels like to have that happen.”

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