AJ Ranks Vol. 2: They said what about Ian?

Top Ten Quotes about Ian on Big Brother 14 Episode 2

10. “Ian’s doing something that’s kinda’ strange. He’s going around the house like he’s a rat or something like that.” – Willie

Ian actually spent some time underneath a couch for a couple minutes. Wouldn’t it have been funny to see him get caught in a mouse trap?

9. “You know, Ian’s a very nice young man. However, I feel like he’s a little bit of a creeper.” – Janelle

You are not the only one Janelle.

8. “He took my cowboy hat from me, and I can never use it again.” – Joe

Joe screamed this at the camera in a diary room interview after Ian used his cowboy hat as a penis guard while he streaked around the house.

7. “You guys, he makes me nervous.” – Janelle

You are not the only one Janelle.

6. “You really don’t know where his heads at, and you’re trying get in Ian’s head. And that’s a crazy place to climb up in, is that boys head.” – Willie

I assume it would be a lot like Bring John Malkovich, but with a lot more spanking of one’s own behind.

5. “This is like the best movie ever.” – Willie

Willie yelled this after watching Ian be crazy for awhile on his HoH flat screen TV.

4. “For someone who can remember every single thing about thing about every single episode of this game, maybe he should remember that the HoH has a television wherein he can follow you all across the house Ian.” – Britney

I think Ian might be so aware of what’s going on that he is doing all of this for more camera time. Then again he could just be bat shit crazy.

3. “Every time I look up I feel like he’s going to be suctioned to the wall staring at me.” – Wil

That is one strange fear to have but then again this is Ian we are talking about. If he started climbing walls it wouldn’t surprise me.

2. “Ian drives me insane. I still haven’t been able to get in the shower without Ian lurking around in the bathroom. He’s trying to get a peak; the boy so bad wants a peak. He just creeps me out.” – Danielle

This has to do with a couple of factors (1) Ian has never lived with a women close to his age before, (2) Ian has never seen a women naked in real life before and (3) his robot wife back at home looks nothing like Danielle.

1. “He’s definitely giving me the creeps. I feel like I’m going to wake up and he’s going to be hovering over me, like, watching me sleep.” – Britney

Knowing Ian he probably already does this but just leaves before you wake up.

AJ Ranks

Top Ten Quotes from Episode 1 of Big Brother 14

The first episode of Big Brother did not disappoint. There was scheming and planning. There was even a small controversy within the house about whether Willie was related to a certain Survivor contestant. Besides that there were a whole bunch of memorable quotes. Here in descending order are some of what I thought were the funniest/weirdest quotes of the night.

10. “Ian is kinda my type because he’s wearing glasses and looks a little nerdy.” – Ashley

Really is that all it takes Ashley?

9. “The shit just got real.” – Kara

She said this after the “coaches” had all entered the house and I don’t blame her, cause when I see Mike Boogie I sometimes thing of Mr. Hanky from South Park.

8. “I think he is from up North.” – Willie

Willie said this when asked if he knew he resembled Russell from Survivor. I think if they know Russell they probably know he is from Louisiana, come on Willie.

7. “I think it’s going to be the year of the hair.” – Wil

After meeting Frank, Wil said this in a diary room interview. Which I take as he thinks his hair gives him some sort of Samson like powers. At least he didn’t say it in one of his weird voices.

6. “Jen, she’s got the tattoos and the tongue piercing and she seems like all rocker chick. I’ve never seen anybody really like her in person.” – Danielle

You might need to get out a little more Danielle.

5. “We have five properties, none of them have sold and that’s what’s killing us.” – Shane

No way, not selling the properties is what’s killing you? Duh... Maybe get better at your job before coming on to a reality show. (I don’t really like Shane.)

4. “If there’s a girl who needs a bed to share she can jump in with me.” - Frank

Frank said this creepily after he took one of the only full size beds in the house.

3. “Can’t be a genius without glasses.” – Ian

Is it like a law? Do smart people without glasses get picked on by the ones with glasses?

2. “Wil could be one of the prettiest chicks in the house.” – Joe

Joe you might need to reassess the type of girls you would hit on.

1. “Kara and JoJo are super cute. I wanna turn JoJo into a My Little Pony and the Kara into, this, like Barbie doll and I want to put them in my pocket.” – Ashley

What can I even say about that?