AJ Ranks Vol. 9: Canadian TV Shows

Canadian TV Shows

When you think of Canadian television shows, expertise and execution are not always what first come to mind. Most of the time you think of campy storylines, bad acting or you don’t even bother thinking about them at all. Over the years, though, there have been a few TV shows that could easily pass for an American show. There has even been a show that being taken and remade for American TV (Being Erica). The shows on this list could (on a slow TV day) possibly pass for a show from the States, or at least a BBC show.

10. Rookie Blue

The tenth spot came down to two police dramas, Flashpoint and Rookie Blue. Of the two only Rookie Blue has been turn into a quickly canceled American television show, and that being the case it makes the list. Rookie Blue has some strong Canadian talent in the cast lead by the beautiful Missy Peregrym.

9. Continuum

Continuum debuted this year on Showcase and is about a cop and a group of terrorists who time travel from 2077 to 2012. The whole show takes place in beautiful Vancouver and although you’ll recognize that the main actress (Rachel Nichols) is not Canadian most of the other actors are Canadian citizens (Erik Knusden, Victor Webster, Tony Amendola).

8. Dragons’ Den

If you are from the United States of America then you would be surprised to know that before Shark’s Tank there was a successful entrepreneurs-get-pitched-ideas-and-fight-over-them reality TV show called Dragon’s Den. Canadian business men Kevin O’leary and Robert Herjavec even made the jump from the Canadian Dragons’ Den to the American Shark Tank.

7. Degrassi High

Degrassi is the original teen high school drama. The show followed a bunch of Canadian kids through high school (the kids were followed from Kids of Degrassi Street and Degrassi Junior High too). The topics and storylines of many of the episodes were very controversial, dealing with such things as abortion, sex, suicide, drugs and AIDS. The show is so popular in Canada that it has spawned a modern version (Degrassi: The Next Generation) a decade after it ended its initial run.

6. Rent-a-Goalie

The main character of this half hour comedy was Cake (Wikipedia describes him as: “a hockey-mad, recovered-from-everything go-to guy, who runs a rag-tag hockey goalie rental service out of cafe Primo, a family owned coffee shop in Toronto’s Little Italy.”) The show was full of all sorts of hijinx and really only failed because it didn’t get enough viewers. Today if they marketed it like FX does with It’s always Sunny In Philadelphia they wouldn’t have had a problem.

5. The Kids in the Hall

The original kings of Canadian sketch comedy (yeah I see you SCTV), if you have never laughed at a skit where Mark McKinney and Scott Thompson are in dressed in drag then you are missing out. Not to mention Dave Foley and Kevin McDonald at their comedic prime, these were the days. (I’m squishing your head!)

4. Less Than Kind

This show was a half hour based comedy set in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. I don’t know if this show resonated with me so much because it is set in my home town or because the main character is an awkward, overweight teenager with a dysfunctional family, but either way I’m glad I did. The show has been on hiatus (I don’t know if it’s coming back) since the passing of legendary Canadian actor and one of the leads on the show, Maury Chaykin. I’ll end this segment with a quote from the late and great legend himself that I found on Wikipedia (because obviously that’s where I do all my research).

            “We understood that the value of the show was in the fact that it’s not a sitcom – it’s a shoe that’s beautifully written, with characters that are less than perfect, that are real... We’re not wrapping every episode up nice and neatly, because it’s all in the sloppiness – that’s where the gold is.” - Maury Chaykin

3. Kenny vs. Spenny

Is t just me or has one of the best reality series’ of all time came and passed already in our lifetime? I cannot answer that with utmost certainty but what I can say is this, I loved Kenny vs. Spenny. It was one of the most polarizing shows because you found yourself rooting for the villain (Kenny) to cheat and win the competitions most episodes (unless you are soft and felt bad for Spenny). The fact that no other two humans on earth have ever tried to recreate the things they did, (or if they have, had very little success at it) says something about the originality and utter craziness that they unleashed on the world.

2. Trailer Park Boys

The States has many mockumentaries on TV nowadays and I wouldn’t put any of them up against TPB is a face off of great mockumentaries. TPB is the story of a film crew that follows around low level criminals, Ricky, Julian and Bubbles, during their everyday life in Sunnyvale Trailer Park. The show is utterly ridiculous at most points and has a lot of very familiar yet unfamiliar storylines (especially for Canadians). The whole concept was made even better when the cast were at Ali G levels of commitment and doing many of their interviews and off screen appearances as their characters.

1. Corner Gas

The Canadian Seinfeld, Brett Butt has less of “what’s the deal with...” feel and more of an “eh that’s kind of strange” thing going on. They do have a lot in common though, both were stand up comics who took their routines and adapted them for TV. Both seem pretty cynical and lazy. And both of their shows are more or less based on “nothing”.

The differences between their shows were apparent, middle of nowhere Saskatchewan is not New York, Jerry’s apartment isn’t the Corner Gas Gas Station, and The Ruby is no Monk’s. Again, though, comparisons can be made the wacky friend (Hank/Kramer), the will they won’t they female opposite (Lacey/Elaine), both shows even had the older couple that always bickered (the Leroys/the Costanzas). Both shows even developed much divided fan bases that either loved them or hated them.

I know that comparing Seinfeld and Corner Gas is like comparing apples and oranges and to all the Seinfeld fans out there, there will never be another Seinfeld. At the same time though, all the Canadian fans of Corner Gas know that there will never be another Corner Gas either and it all ours.

AJ Ranks Vol. 8: ABDC’s Best Crews

America’s Best Dance Crew’s Best Dance Crew

Randy Jackson Presents: America’s Best Dance Crew (ABDC) is a reality competition TV show, where dance crews from all over America (and sometimes Canada, Mexico and Puerto Rico) compete for $100,000 and a golden statue of a B-Boy doing a freeze. (The statues legs move like a bobble head doll.) Since 2008 there have been seven seasons of ABDC with seven very different winners and a lot of really good crews that missed out because the season they were on was inhabited by JabbaWockeeZ, or was transformed into a Super Cr3w break fest. So here I will try and rank the top ten crews to ever step on to Randy Jackson’s (What up, Dawg?) prestigious dance stage.

10. Blueprint Cru

(Performance at 1:15)

The only Canadian team (that I know of) that has ever been on ABDC, and they didn’t disappoint. They came in second to Poreotix in season 5, and it was just one of those seasons were they put up against one of the best team to ever be on the show. Blueprint Cru might have been able upset We are Heroes in season four and they could have put up a good fight against last year’s champ the Elektrolytes in they were on form but they ended in the bottom two too often on their season and there for are giving the 10^th spot.

9. Eletrolytes

(Performance at 2:20)

They would have easily lost on any other season and their best performance was aided by Poreotix (it was at the finale and wasn’t judged, so it didn’t actually make a difference in them winning or losing). Elektrolytes earn this high of a spot by default of being the season seven champions.

8. We Are Heroes

Another crew that was very fortunate to be on a weaker season. I am not trying to take anything away from these ladies, they are amazing. They fought incredibly hard to become the season 4 champions. That is too say their biggest competition might have been a bunch of men dancing and dressing like women. On any season other then there and seven they would have come in second maybe even third. Heroes are still sexy and amazing talented dancers at the end of the day so who am I to judge.

7. Kaba Modern

(Performance at 1:35) 

One of the greatest travesties ever happened in season one, when the stunt filled but not very talented dance crew, Status Quo, upset the smooth, precise and mind blowing technique of the college dance crew Kaba Modern.  Even if Kaba Modern would have beat Status Quo, they still would have ended up against the greatest ABDC dance crew ever and there for second or third probably didn’t affect their future earnings all that much.

6. Beat Freaks

(Performance at 1:45) 

Beat Freaks is the highest rated none champion on this list and an all female dance crew that would have likely won on four other seasons. This routine in particular is still one of my favorite today, the way they incorporated the challenge into it and their breaking is always so clean.

5. Poreotics

Poreotics is a California based dance crew and they are the champions of ABDC season 5. The name Poreotics is a combination of their three main specialities popping, choreography and robotics (Po-reo-tics). They were also one of the most entertaining crews to ever be on the show.

4. I.aM.mE.

(Performance at 1:40) 

The season 6 champs are best known for what they call “brain banging” (when they use their bodies to make incredible images). Each member has their own style that when blended together makes this group that more amazing.

3. Super Cr3w

(Performance at 1:30) 

Super Cr3w is easily one of the best break dancing crews in the world. Not only that they are put together with some of the greatest individual breakers on the planet. If you don’t believe me check out their bio on their website, these are some decorated break dancers.

2. Quest Crew

This crew is not only full of amazing dancers, it’s filled with reality TV stars. A couple of them appeared on So You Think You Can Dance and another one was on American Idol. Their main success and what made them a worldwide name was winning ABDC season 3. Their stunts and tight choreography made them front runners all season long that year and they haven’t looked back since.

1.  JabbaWockeeZ

(Performance at 0:50) 

The original America’s Best Dance Crew Champions and, easily, the best crew to ever be on ABDC stage, the JabbaWockeeZ will likely never be surpassed. Not only have they been in movies and music but every time they come back to make an appearance on ABDC after their season they leave everyone everywhere wanting ABDC to be remade into a season long JabbaWockeeZ music video.

Here are some more JabbaWockeeZ videos for your enjoyment: 

(Performance at 1:35) 

AJ Ranks Vol. 7: Mike Boogie’s Hat Game

The Many Hats of Mike Boogie

This season on Big Brother we all get the treat to watch Mike Boogie play the game for a third time. He entered the house, this time, under the impression that he would be coaching and playing for a 1 in 4 shot at $100,000. Instead four weeks in the coaches got the shocking news that they would be entering the game and playing for the $500,000 grand prize. Even though Mike “One Half of ChillTown” Boogie didn’t come in ready to play the Big brother game, he did come ready with one of the most legendary hat games in Big Brother history. Here I will be ranking my Boogie’s hats so far this season. (We can only hope he has more stashed away.

10. Orange Clemson Visor

Is a visor a real hat? Well, it goes on your head and protects your eyes from the sun so for this blog post this visor will count as a hat. It’s getting the tenth spot because I had to argue with myself over whether it was or hat or not. (I won the argument)

9. Petalocos 707 Trucker Hat

Who still wear’s trucker hats Mike Boogie. Dr Will, Mike’s long time friend, made an appearance on the live show two weeks ago and made a joke about how Mike’s clothes are from the 90’s. Dr Will was not wrong with his criticism, this trucker hat being one of the major pieces of evidence.

 8. The Non Distinct Baseball Cap

I cannot for the life of me figure out what the F on this hat stands for. I had a hunch that it was an older Florida Marlins hat but I’m not convinced. The level that Mike’s hat game is at would not allow for such a fashion faux pas.

7. Red C Town Hat

This obviously represents the Chill Town group that Will and he created when they were on season 2 together. It just doesn’t look that well made. The C is too far over to the left and it looks as if the put too many spaces in between the C and Town on the machine when they made this hat.

6. The U Baseball Cap

Anytime you wear a brand that represents that kind of smash mouth, I don’t take no shit from nobody mentality like the U does your hat game deserves to be talked about.

5.  Coach Hat

I don’t know if he made this or it was given to him by the Big Brother production crew. I haven’t seen Dan with a coach hat, so we can only assume Boogie made this before coming into the house. What a guy?

4. Chill Town Hat

Now this is the kind of hat you get made with the name of your alliance from 12 seasons ago on it. The old English writing, small font, and brown leathery look is what makes this a classic.

3. Upturned Fisherman Hat

This looks like a denim fisherman hat with a colorful plaid design on the inside. Is it just me or does Mike look like Ernest P. Worrel from all those ridiculous Ernest movies.

2. Multicolor Golf Hat

This is one of, I think, three golf hats Mike Boogie has in the house. (The others are just white and black.) He doesn’t wear it as much I would like. If I could find one of these in my local clothing stores I wouldn’t even look at the price, I would just buy it.

1.  Mike’s Cuban Hat

 I doubt these hats are actually called Cuban hats, but that’s what I will now be calling them from now on.  Mike looks like he could be the life of the party in any occasion in that hat. All he needs now is a mustache and a cigar to complete the look.

AJ Ranks Vol. 6: Best of Def Poetry

The Def’est Poetry

I have watched every episode of HBO’s Russell Simmons Presents Def Poetry and let me tell you, there are many, many talented people making poetry out there. There are so many good Def Poetry videos that it was hard to cut it down to ten, but here they are, the best videos (in my opinion) from Def Poetry.

10. Jason Carney – Southern Heritage

This poem is about Jason Carney’s past and his future. He speaks about his relationship with his grandmother and then brings it around to the relationship with his daughter. I always get goose bumps when he speeds up his speech; it’s as if you can feel his words.

9. Daniel Beaty – Knock Knock

This poem is about a boy whose father leaves his family, and how he grows up to become a man. The build up to the last line is so good it makes me want to stand up and scream it with him.

8. Mark Gonzales – As With Most Men

Mark Gonzales brings to light the misogyny and objectification of women in western pop culture. The poem makes you think about what kind of man you really want to be.

7. Eamon Mahone and Paul Graham - Black Irish

This is absolutely one of my favorites, the reason it ranks so low is the quality of video. (I looked everywhere and couldn’t find one with better quality.) The poem draws parallels between the ways that they both were raised. Not only that but the presentation was remarkable, when they hit the lines together and with such power, it gets me every time.

6. Steve Coleman – I Wanna Hear a Poem

You’ll have to skip to the 1:42 mark if you want to skip Mos Def telling you about what Def Poetry is. When you finally get to hear Steve Coleman you will like it. He basically lays out what kind of poem he wants to hear. “I just want to hear a poem.” I hear that, man.

5. Carlos Andrés Gómez - What's Genocide

You may not know exactly what he is talking about but odds are you have heard of or been around a situation resembling or just as bad as the ones he talks about in this poem. That’s what’s makes this so sad is that you know it’s true.

4. Shihan –Say What?

Shihan is one of my favorite Def Poetry acts. He always has a message and his word play always makes you think. To this day I can’t get the line “So I use these real eyes, to realizes the real lies...” out of my head.

3. Gemini – Penny for Your Thoughts

“While they’re trying to get deeply imbedded in the fine fibers of your bed sheets, I’m trying to find and define the fibers with which your mind speaks.” #Boom

2. Taylor Mali – What Teachers Make

This video has been sent around the staff at the school I work at so many times, I can only imagine how pumped up it makes teachers feel. I could see a teacher watching this before a class getting excited and ready for the class only to be brought back down to earth when the idiot kids walk and lower all expectations.

1. Suheir Hammad - First Writing Since

Suheir Hammad speaks about the racism problems in the states after 9/11. She speaks so eloquently and passionately about her subject. It is amazing to imagine what art and beauty can come from the struggles her family had to face.

Here are a few extra videos I didn’t add to the list because I already had a better one from the poet.

AJ Ranks Vol. 5: Cartoons for Adults

The Best Cartoons for Adults

There are a lot of cartoon’s on nowadays that are completely veered toward adults and older teenagers. Most of these cartoons use suggestive humor and violence. The best ones though use suggestive humor and violence as a small part of the puzzle adding dynamic stories, clever takes on certain subjects and even character interactions to bolster the end product.

10. The Cleveland Show

A spin-off of another adult cartoon (Family Guy), this show is the brain child of Seth MacFarlane. The show surrounds Cleveland Brown, his son, his new wife, and his two step-kids. The Cleveland show has a lot of the same humour as Family Guy, for obvious reasons, even bringing out the old talking animal bit. One of Cleveland’s good friends, and neighbor, is a talking bear named Tim, and even though he acts human most of the time still has his bear tendencies.

9. Bob’s Burgers

Bob’s Burgers just finished its second season with a strong showing. The show is about Bob and the diner he owns with his wife and three kids. Bob’s wife Linda and kids Tina, Gene, and Louise all help him run the diner. The kids are definitely what make this show funny. The parents have their moments too but those usually come when interacting with the kids.

8. Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Three anthropomorphic fast food items-Masters Shake, Frylock and Meadwad-and their neighbor, Carl Brutananadilewski, go out and do ridiculous things over and over every week. This is the longest running original series on Adult Swim and has developed a cult following that resulted in two animated feature films and three different spin-offs. This show is so far out there that you really need to enjoy these kinds of shows or be really stoned to get into it.

7. Beavis and Butthead

Originally created in 1992, Beavis and Butthead is about two teenagers who live by themselves and go to school sometimes. Each episode usually consists of two short stories broken up by little skits where the boys, on their couch watching TV, make fun of a music video. In the newer reincarnate of the series, airing in 2011, the boys also ripped on some reality TV shows and internet videos. Although the original was so popular in its time that it spawned a animated feature film, the newer version is having a hard time finding its legs with teenagers in the 21^st century.

6. Family Guy

Seth MacFarlane’s original cash cow, Family Guy, is now on its 10^th season after already being cancelled once and revived because DVD sales went up to an astounding level. Most of this shows humour is built into the cutaway scenes or even over the top slapstick that could only work on a cartoon. Even though I haven’t seen many of the newer episodes, the Star Wars parodies that were done were done very well.

5. Futurama

From the creator of The Simpsons, Futurama is all about a guy named Fry being accidentally cryogenically frozen in the year 2000 and is thawed out in the year 3000. He goes to work for his only living relative, Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth, as a delivery boy at Planet Express. The show revolves around Fry’s life and friendship with a robot, a alien man-crab thing, his cyclops girlfriend, a Martian and limbo obsessed paper pusher. This is another show that was cancelled but ended up being revived due to fan support.

4. The Simpsons

Going strong for 23 seasons and counting, The Simpsons has always been a staple on fox’s Sunday night lineup, well at least for as long as I can remember. Dimwit of a Dad Homer works at a nuclear power plant while his wife, Marge, takes care of the three kids, Bart, Lisa and Maggie. With Bart being a trouble maker, Lisa the braniac and Maggie never one to say the wrong thing, The Simpsons has never been without a good story to tell. In fact they’ve actually told numerous stories in more than one way (they’ve owned like three different horses).

3. Black Dynamite

Originally a live action blaxploitation spoof film, it has recently been turned into an animated series on Adult Swim. The show follows a former CIA agent named Black Dynamite and his team while they try to figure out who is behind all the ninja’s that are running around town. The problem is that they seem to be easily side tracked. In the first two episodes alone Michael Jackson and the Porn industry, respectively, drew focus away from their main objectives. This show is funny not only in the obvious over the top stereotyping but some of the subtle jokes they throw out are pretty special.

2. Archer

The same voice actor that stars as Bob in Bob’s Burgers stars in Archer as the title character. Sterling Archer is an international man of mystery, a trained spy for his mother’s company ISIS (International Secret Intelligence Service). Every character on this show has his or her place and they all work very well together. The humor of the show is very up front and confrontational. For one whole episode it is believed that Archer has breast cancer which leads to many inappropriate but hilarious jokes.

1. South Park

Creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone have discovered a way to satirize the world through four fifth graders that I never knew was possible. They take a small concept like women nagging men to put the toilet seat down and they stretch it out into a 23 minute long comment on society. Not only that, they do it while making most people laugh. It’s crazy to think that these guys put together each episode of South Park in 6 days, but they do.