Big Brother Recap: Episode 17

Silent Six or Quack Pack?

Dan, Danielle, Britney, and Shane have been in an alliance (what I call the DDBS) since Britney lost JoJo and Willie in the same week. They have created two other alliances, the Silent Sixe and the Quack Pack, in order to secure votes and to use Frank when he was in the HoH last week. However this episode plays out, and the rest of the season for that matter, if they can work together they have the best odds to be in the house in September.

The 17^th episode of this season starts where we left off last episode, in the middle of the HoH competition. This competition is filled with slips and spills. Danielle, Ashley and Ian are all falling on almost every trip. Ian almost smashes his head on the barrel, and then just about flies off the whole platform. At one point Daniele suggests that her name be changed to “Grace” because she is “completely graceful, right?”

This HoH competition has two other possible prizes; there is 10K and safety from being nominated for eviction this week. Shane, Danielle, and Ian are all going for HoH. Britney, Joe, Ashley, Dan and Jenn are all trying to get safety, while Mike Boogie is the only house guest trying to get the 10K. Mike Boogie explains his choice by saying “Look, if there’s a contest with cash or prizes in the Big Brother house, I’m going for the money. I have a son now, do you know how much, like, diapers and baby food costs. Come on!” Frank is pretty irritated that Boogie didn’t even try to get HoH.

With Danielle landing on her butt so often we get another installment of “Creepy Diary Interview with Shane!” Noticing that she has fallen on numerous occasions Shane says “She’s gonna have some bruises on her butt. Yeah, she’s gonna be in some pain tomorrow. I might give her like a massage.” He finishes it off with the creepiest laugh I have seen out of him this season.

The competition is moving along at a pretty good pace, but Ashley isn’t. Her slow and constantly changing technique garnered some of the best quotes of the night. Here they are:

Dan: “Ashley’s a very special girl. She’s doing a cat crawl one minute; she’s doing the worm a se cond. I don’t know what this girl is doing.”

Danielle: “Ashley’s technique, bless her heart, was to crawl or do some sort of therapeutic ‘zing’ thing in the middle of it. She wanted to be like an inch worm, you know, slow and steady.” (I think she meant Zen thing, but who am I to speculate about Danielle, the “teacher’s“, vocabulary.)

Ian does some math. He is trying to figure out how many trips he will have to take back and forth. He estimates that “the HoH jug is about 200-250 cups of liquid, and I would think the thing we were carrying back and forth was about a half cup. I am not a fan of English units but I reckon we are looking at about 500 trips back and forth.” Then he goes on to realize “I could be here for a long time.”

Britney wins safety and then goes over and gives Frank and awkward hug. Dan, Joe, Jenn and Ashley all realize that they have to switch from going after the safety to going after the Head of Household. Joe, Ashley and Jenn have all but given up now, but Dan is still pushing hard for the HoH and starts to make a move.

Mike Boogie takes the 10K prize (that he was going after all by himself). He has a diary room interview and counts up all the money he’s won so far this season. He has won both of the large monetary prizes in the two competitions where there where monetary prizes and that comes to a total of 16K.

The HoH is coming down to four people, Shane, Dan, Danielle and Ian. Shane starts to slow down which gives Dan motivation to keep moving and Dan actually passes Danielle and Ian after starting the competition trying to get safety. The effort is a little too late though because Shane takes the competition winning HoH.

Jenn has a diary room interview. (Is it just me or is anyone else shocked Jenn is still on this show?) All she talks about is that Shane won HoH and the sarcastically congratulates him to the camera.

Some quick notes on Shane’s HoH room:

·         Shane has a very attractive sister.

·         Shane has an awesome looking dog.

·         As a kid Shane was affiliated with gangs. (There is a picture of kid-Shane throwing up gang signs.)

·         In his letter his sister refers to him as “brosef”. (Is it me or does anyone feel a Game of Thrones type of brother sister relationship?)

Holy, we get another dose of Jenn this episode. She’s cry-eating pizza in her bedroom and in a diary room interview (albeit a very short one) she says that being in this house is super tough on her.

Ian quickly goes back to playing the game when he tells Britney that before the live show Boogie suggested that if he was too win HoH that he should think about putting up her or Shane. Britney is upset about this news and so she assembles the Quack Pack to discuss getting out Boogie and Frank. Britney is so into her speech at one point it looks like she is going to cry. The Quack Pack agrees with her, aside from a little hesitation on the part of Shane, and they decide that Shane will nominate Frank and Boogie this week. They end their meeting with their signature Quack Pack huddle-and-make-hand-beaks.

The audience is let in on the fact that Joe is a compulsive story teller. Whenever he has the chance to tell (make up?) a story about himself, he does. It seems to be to the point where the other house guests have a hard time believing most of the stories he tells. Boogie even says a t one point, “[Joe] just has a very colorful background, and um, I don’t believe a word the man says.” Mike isn’t the only one who thinks Joe is a little too out there. Britney claims that “Joe has a unique way of telling stories. Whatever you can say, he’s got one better than you. So, you know, if your dog has really beautiful blue eyes then HIS DOG HAS GOLDEN EYES!”

While outside in the sun Ian tries to figure out how to ask Ashley out on a second date and somehow thinks that first asking her if she has a date with Frank that evening is the best way to bring up the idea. What’s even worse is that Ian still has to be prompted by sunbathing Joe to ask her out. (Ian will never win the girl that way.) When he finally gets out the date invitation Ashley agrees and they plan it for nine that night.

To get prepared for his date with Ashley, Ian lets Britney use some of Shane’s hair removal spray on his armpit hair. He seems to enjoy be held down and have his hair removed by Britney, well until it started to burn anyways.

Now that his armpits are hairless it’s time for Ashley and Ian’s awkward date #2. Here are some of the quick notes.

·         Ian makes Ashley a pizza. (It’s a frozen pizza, but still.)

·         A lot of awkward silence.

·         They are so bored they make a beat with their hands on the table.

·         More awkward silence.

·         They talk about Ian not eating breakfast or lunch, and Ashley reacts (“Yea, I heard.”) as if it’s huge news.

·         Awkward Silence 2.0

·         “Did you ever go to the bathroom?” Ashley asking Ian about his bathroom habits is so romantic.

·         “After the second date with Ian, I’ve come to realize that me and him are just really good friends. And, I think it’s mutual. It was very bubblegum compared to the risqué date I had with Frank.” – Ashley in the diary room

·         “I think the date with Ashley was ok. If Frank happens to walk out the door this week, I think I’d be pretty happy to be a shoulder for Ashley to cry on.”

Joe goes up to see Shane in the HoH room so he can pledge his allegiance to Shane again this week. (I am surprised he didn’t cook Shane breakfast like the last time Shane was HoH.) Joe lists the different way he would endanger himself in order to save Shane. First he said “I will go out of the game for you” and then took it into the real world with, “in front of a bus for you man.” Let’s just say Shane is hesitant to believe Joe but loves the dedication.

Outside at the pool table Ian, Boogie and Dan talk about the possibility of their being another Big Brother All-Stars. (There better be.) Dan doesn’t think so, but the resident Big Brother expert, Ian, makes a good point when he suggests that they will but will likely call it something different like “Good vs. Evil.” They go one to speculate who they would get for each team. Boogie thinks they will bring Dr. Will, Evil Dick and himself back for the evil team. Ian also thinks he would be a part of the evil team saying “I’m not a good person in any way shape or form.” For being a Big Brother expert it’s weird to see Ian believe the game he is playing is in any way evil.

(Side Note: If they ever did have a Big Brother Good vs. Evil this would be the two teams they should select. Good: James (BB9), Cowboy (BB5), Lane (BB12), Ian (BB14), Ashley (BB14), Cassi (BB13), Kristen (BB12), Renny (BB10). For the Evil team: Russell (BB11), Dr. Will (BB2, BB All-Stars), Brian (BB10), Frank (BB14), Rachel (BB12, BB13), Daniele (BB8, BB13), Natalie (BB9), Jen (BB8). That would be the best cast for numerous reasons and you would be getting people from nine of the 14 possible seasons.)

After being outside for the day the houseguests come inside to find a trail of balls leading up to the arcade machine. Inside the arcade machine is an empty glass box with a question mark on it which inevitably makes everyone in the house panic. Ian the “Big Brother expert” thinks it has something to do with Pandora’s box and is worried that it will mess up their plans this week.

When we finally get to the nomination ceremony we find out that Mike Boogie and Frank are the two people that Shane nominated. His speech in particular was quite odd. “You have prizes; you have twists and ultimately clues that completely shade your decision making. Um, that’s pretty much all I can say at this point. I’m sorry, it’s nothing personal. Um, I’m giving you a chance to fight for power of veto.” What the hell are you talking about Shane? He is trying so hard not to get blood on his hand that it looks like he is incapable of putting together a coherent sentence.

At the end of the episode we are left with a table full of people in fake-disbelief and people in complete shock. Boogie and Frank have to once again fight for their life. It will take a miracle like getting the house to flip on Janelle to make sure both of the Chill Town members stay this week.